Where I'm From

Last weekend, I went to Whitehorse, Yukon to chill, to see my Dad, to see old friends, to hang with the Doggies. It's great to go home, to where you were raised. Really great.


fall colours and a snow squall coming

getting a call, at the fire pit! (might be considered bad etiquette, but I LOVE my cell!)

Mackenzie, me, Gabby

Beauty of the Peace

Now, admittedly, I've been pretty hard on Fort St John in a few posts. It is completely warranted. BUT I will say that despite FSJ being a horrid, ugly town, it is absolutely beautiful as soon as you get 5 km outside, in any direction.

Wild Life in FSJ

While I was in Fort St John, I continued my training for my upcoming half marathon in Banff. I did a run 18 km on the x-c ski trails. It's the farthest I've ever gone on a training run on my own, so I was worried that I'd be really bored..... but here's what happened:

I was running along, and could see a shape on the trail ahead.... thought it was a white tailed deer. But looked a little closer and realised it was a white tailed buck!!!! Yup, indeedy, coitus interruptus, 2 people shagging in a little patch of sunshine on the trail. Too funny! I was like, "Ummm, hey guys, I'm just gonna run on by."

[I wasn't going to talk about this, but every time I tell the story, someone says, "Well, what did they do?"]
So....
As soon as they heard me, he SPROINGed off her, yanked up his drawers, sat beside her, and pulled his hat down to cover his whole face.
She did nothing. She just closed her knees (errmm, thank you), and covered her face with her hands.
As I ran by, literally about 3 feet from them, I said, "Hey, just to warn you, I'm running laps here. I'll be coming by 2 more times."
She was like, "Umm, yah. We're. Done."

I got about 100 m away, and they were just shouting, "AAAHHHHHH!!! OH MY GOD!! HOLY CRAP!! AAARRCCCHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

Kept me entertained for many km's!

Moving

I'm going through really old boxes as I do this move....stuff that was packed by professional movers when I left my last house.
Last night, I picked up a box, and thought, "OMG, this is really heavy."
I opened it, and inside was a bag of cement!

Physically demanding stuff this moving. I have weird bruises all over me - hips and belly, biceps, forearms, thighs. and plenty on my shins from banging into stuff. I was lying in a bath with epsom salts last night (found those in an old box!) and I looked like I had big zebra stripes all down my arms from wrestling a large and extremely heavy box of floor tiles into a dumpster......Tiles?!?! Don't ask - ghosts of uncompleted projects past.

Heavy Lifting

I am THRILLED to report the move is going outstandingly well so far. Last week, , I was seriously freaking out about the amount of work I had, that I didn't have help, etc etc. etc. But it`s important to just put your needs out there... I had a guy lined up yesterday to help with the moving, and he bailed at the last second. No kidding - I was due to pick him up in 15 mins when he called and said he'd been called into work. It takes a lot to make me growly, but I was pretty snarky on the phone.... "You couldn't tell them you were already committed to working for someone else?" He asked if I couldn't ask so and so, or so and so, and I told him, "No, I'm %$#$@ed now. Nobody else is available. They are all working." (I'm trying to give up swearing this month, but failing miserably, plus it was the most appropriate and accurately descriptive word at that time)

Anyway, I carried on, started the move myself, and quickly realised that I was never going to be able to move all my stuff out of a 5 foot crawl space on my own. So I started making phone calls for other tasks I had to do, and just asked the lady at the law office if she knew anyone who would be available...young guys, strong guys, I just needed muscle. She suggested Employment Connections, and Bob's Yer Uncle, I soon had a couple keen and really nice guys arrive. The original guy eventually called, as he did feel bad, and 3 was how many I wanted in the first place..... Those fellas worked so hard!!! They were so tired when they left. But I paid $30 an hour cash, so they smiled and are very keen to come back. Yes, sometimes it`s totally appropriate to throw money at a problem to make it go away. I've made a killing on the house sale, so $300 was soooooooooo worth it.

I was also very worried about the 2 sheds I had to move... Well, again, ask for what you need, and see what turns up. I called one company yesterday, and they would charge $195 per hour, and she assured me her husband HATES moving sheds, so he'd be miserable. Hmmmm. Unhappy and expensive?? Not my scene. So then my uncle got rained out from his job, did a favour for his neighbour, turns out the neighbour was also rained out of his real job, so was thrilled to come over with his picker truck, and pick up my sheds!!! They turned up earlier than agreed, so I was in my pj's and drinking coffee when they arrived. So I put on my terrific little Beauty Queen thong** (it has sparkley writing AND ruffles) under my already muddy jeans and filthy hoodie, and got out there. I am not an experienced swamper on a picker truck, so I made sure I literally ran every time they needed me to do something. Sure enough, a guy likes a swamper who hustles, so it was all smiles, job went smoothly, AND he charged me half what his real rate was. Another lesson: paying cash is extremely useful.

My uncle was nice enough to suggest that because the price of the job was so good, I could sleep with the trucker..... But I told the guy I really couldn't afford his gigolo fees in addition to his truck rental, so I would have to decline his other services. (How's that for FSJ mentality - pimp out your niece to your neighbours.... )

**Now, you must have thought THAT was interesting... a) that I would wear a sparkley ruffled thong for working with heavy machinery, and b) that I would tell write about it here. So here's the back story: in 1993, I worked as a Forest Engineering assistant in the Queen Charlotte Islands. I was the first girl ever hired in the history of engineering in the QCI, so I worked my butt off. They liked to send their summer students out to "learn the entire operation", so, just like the boys, I did every job on the claim..... Endless hours flailed through salal and devils club over my head - check. Moved my share of 20 tonnes of blasting powder in 25 kg bags - check. Swamped on a rock drill - check. Walked in caulk boots on logs 15 m off the ground - check. Became addicted to chewing tobacco - check. Set chokers on a high lead logging show - check. Developed patois with f-bombs every second word - check. Learned to run a chain saw with a 36 inch bar - check. But I also learned that no matter how dirty or filthy or tired or smelly I was.....I LOVED taking my work boots off at the end of the day, and seeing lovely painted toenails. "Aaaahhh, oh yah, I'm a girl. Almost forgot."

What I Like About Alberta

On the highway outside Grande Cache, Alberta, I passed a police car while I was doing 135 kmh in a 100 kmh zone. He didn't even blink. Guess he was glad I wasn't impeding the flow of traffic by driving less than 120 kmh.

Topsy Turvy day

I was worried that I'd have nothing to write about....and I'd just be rambling on about noses, body noises, and generally nothing. Be careful what you wish for!

I had quite the topsy turvy day last week....

Headed into yoga class.... Yoga class....aaahhhhh, bliss. I was SUPER flexible, so had a really easy time. Or maybe, I was just in a particularly happy mood, so nothing hurt, and it was all easy. Yoga is like that....which comes first? the mind or the body? Physical-mental zen riddle... Everyone around here is really bent cuz fall has come about a month early, so our teacher's thought for the day was about "accepting this moment as perfect."

Then I headed downtown, parked perfectly, met a couple friends for a nice walk, stopped at the Farmer's Market and bought lovely flowers. In fact, he gave me an extra couple stems for free - YAY! :))

Then returned to my perfectly parked car. That was all smashed. :((

With a note on it. :)

I called the guy, he was completely blown away that I was sooooo chilled, after he brutally smashed up my car with his monster truck. He brought me his deets, bought me a coffee, drove me to the RCMP and insurance place. :) Since my car was smashed :(

But I think I've converted him to yoga.....it's clearly why there was no yelling, tears, stress, etc. over my car. Obvious positive effect :)

And in case you were wondering, NO I don't think he was hitting on me.....told me all about his girlfriend.... As well, smashed my car + girlfriend = total deal breaker. Everybody knows that math. :-P Plus he was, like, 6 years old.

I am finally accepting though that my car is jinxed. Aaaahhhhh, poor Lesbaru*. So reliable. Ugly as a comfortable shoe. Red 1998 Subaru Forester. I've had NO accidents in any other vehicle I've ever had, yet this car has now been smashed in a parking lot twice, rear ended once (not my fault the big SUV couldn't stop on black ice but the Subie is nimble and light!). And then one time I was given an at fault accident when a moron in an old, crappy 2wd p/u with bald tires tried to pass me on a snowy road, he hit the frozen snowbank and rolled. NO damage to my car, as I caught a glimpse of the big pouf of snow, touched the throttle, and nimbly got out of the guy's way. grrrrrrr, long story, still bitter :-P



* years ago, when my car was new, friends who were also subie owners were looking at http://www.car.com/. And what would you find on the Top Ten List of vehicles preferred by Lesbians???? The Subaru Forester! I also blame my car for women hitting on me all the time...

Life with Bachelors

My living situation is with Cousin Ken (bachelor) and Roomie Kurt (bachelor).
Both are really good guys, but on occasion, they are just guys.

My bedroom is across the hall from Kenny's. The other morning I heard this massive "BBBRRRRAAAPPPPPHHHHHHH" through 2 closed bedroom doors, and I thought, "Holy! That was one loud fart!" Guess it was so loud that it woke him up, as Kenny opened his door about 1 minute later and started walking around. :)

Woman Against Nature!

(warning: to those who cannot cope with 8 legged creatures, avert your eyes. It gets graphic.)

I live with my (bachelor) cousin and his (bachelor) roomie. So I rule the roost! HA! I have banned their use of the bathroom in the basement, so that I can keep it clean, with NO urine on the floor. Or walls. Or anywhere else inappropriate. There is not a woman on the planet who would think this is unreasonable, even though the bathroom is right beside Roomie Kurt's bedroom. But the downside is that I was gone for so long, and no one was around to scare the spiders into submission.
The other day, I was happily doing laundry, and grabbed the bathmat off the floor and a Big F'ing Spider (BFS*) scuttled away. I shrieked (obviously - what did you think I'm made of?? Titanium???). I grabbed the garbage bin off the floor to use for a BFS Crusher, and another BFS sped across the floor! I started swearing FOR REAL at that point. I knocked over my bin, and from somewhere another BFS appeared. AAAARRRGGHHHHHH, STUPID SPIDERS EVERYWHERE!!!! I left the bathroom, but the shouting did succeed in getting Kurt downstairs. "KURT, go in there and kill the spiders!!! AAAAAUUUURRRGGGHHHHHHHH!"
By end of battle, there were FIVE (5) BFS carcasses in one tiny bathroom. Probably should have called the Arachno-Coroner.
Kurt's very useful comment: "Hey, you notice that none of them was poisonous???"
No, Kurt, I hadn't. That's because in my reality, there are NO black widow spiders in this house. They are all outside, farfarfar away from me.
But that was not the end. I was cleaning my room later, and found a SFS. But I was a hero, and slammed that one myself with a shoe. Mass murder. Not zen at all.

* Big F'ing Spider. Sorry, but when a sucker is an inch across or more, counting leg span, it qualifies for BFS nomenclature.