Woman Against Nature!

(warning: to those who cannot cope with 8 legged creatures, avert your eyes. It gets graphic.)

I live with my (bachelor) cousin and his (bachelor) roomie. So I rule the roost! HA! I have banned their use of the bathroom in the basement, so that I can keep it clean, with NO urine on the floor. Or walls. Or anywhere else inappropriate. There is not a woman on the planet who would think this is unreasonable, even though the bathroom is right beside Roomie Kurt's bedroom. But the downside is that I was gone for so long, and no one was around to scare the spiders into submission.
The other day, I was happily doing laundry, and grabbed the bathmat off the floor and a Big F'ing Spider (BFS*) scuttled away. I shrieked (obviously - what did you think I'm made of?? Titanium???). I grabbed the garbage bin off the floor to use for a BFS Crusher, and another BFS sped across the floor! I started swearing FOR REAL at that point. I knocked over my bin, and from somewhere another BFS appeared. AAAARRRGGHHHHHH, STUPID SPIDERS EVERYWHERE!!!! I left the bathroom, but the shouting did succeed in getting Kurt downstairs. "KURT, go in there and kill the spiders!!! AAAAAUUUURRRGGGHHHHHHHH!"
By end of battle, there were FIVE (5) BFS carcasses in one tiny bathroom. Probably should have called the Arachno-Coroner.
Kurt's very useful comment: "Hey, you notice that none of them was poisonous???"
No, Kurt, I hadn't. That's because in my reality, there are NO black widow spiders in this house. They are all outside, farfarfar away from me.
But that was not the end. I was cleaning my room later, and found a SFS. But I was a hero, and slammed that one myself with a shoe. Mass murder. Not zen at all.

* Big F'ing Spider. Sorry, but when a sucker is an inch across or more, counting leg span, it qualifies for BFS nomenclature.