A Week in Provence

Just spent a week en Provence, relearning French. Heaven! Oh, except for when I had a tantrum because too many tenses were swirling around in my head and I couldn't remember which verb form I should use...a total perfectionist moment. Luckily, we had planned a field trip to Arles, which was absolutely FANTASTIC. Oh, and when I wanted to sit down late in the day and have a glass of wine, who should sit truly RIGHT BESIDE me, but Keanu Reeves!!!! It was so weird, I caught a glance and thought, "Man, he looks just like Keanu Reeves, he must hear that all the time." And then folks started asking him for photos. So weird, he has the exact same mannerisms and voice as in all his movies - apparently he just plays Keanu on a fast bus, and Keanu in a weird future scene, and Keanu in some ridiculous love story. He's quite skinny now, ate ice cream, and has a hideous beard. (Ever heard of a stylist, Keanu??) The highlight was that he brushed against me on his way to the bathroom. Yup, that's right, first he sat beside me, then he touched me. I would imagine he was disappointed that he didn't get a chance to propose a torrid affair with me in Southern France, but I am too dedicated a student of the language, so didn't have time for all that swanning about with movie stars.

Next update: tomorrow is my aunt's funeral. Then much family shite for the rest of the week.

Then I'm not sure what I'm doing, but will probably go back to France for more French training, and maybe more movie stars?? Not totally sure. Apparently George Clooney is buying a house/villa/chateau in the village where I stayed, so might enjoy a brioche with Georges?? And Angelina/Brad have a villa not too far away. Guess I better bring gifts for their new twins....would hate to be caught out. Totally embarrassing. :)

Flirting

I was walking down the street the other day when a cute young guy in a car totally checked me out* . I went by, then he drove up to me and said, "Wow, you've got a cracking figure!"
[ don't know if I've ever been described as 'cracking', so that's cool.]
He gave me his card, so I'd text him to have a drink.


ME: "Hiya. i'm madly making plans to go to france. b back in a week. rain cheque on that drink?"
HIM: "Hi tara ..u seem like a cool kind of lady ..so ur off to france !..nice!! Thanks for ur number ..! Ur very attractive and ye i luv busty babes !!"

His card said he does joinery, which I think is carpentry of some sort. But I think he probably moonlights writing copy for those ads at the back of magazines or very late night infomercials.

* actually, he checked me out the same way the skateboarding midget did. Now I wish I'd gotten the Little Person's card. Wonder what he does for a living?

Shopping in Amsterdam

Real, Wooden and Future Flowers at the Bloemmarket

Last week, I went to Amsterdam for a conference on partnerships in Ethical Business. This could include things such as a coffee producer teaming up with a Fair Trade certification NGO, and the result is a fair trade coffee in the shops. I really dig this stuff, and am optimistic that doing business "the right way" continues to catch on. It's quite a big market share here in Europe, so maybe????

I LOVED Amsterdam. What a fantastic city - beautiful, safe, everyone rides bikes or walks, canals, flowers, etc. etc. I would happily live there. It's that great! And the shopping - I have no idea how the Dutch (or maybe I mean Amsterdammers) create a business plan. "Hmmmm, think I'll sell Christmas ornaments year round, ummmm, and patterned tissue products. Oh, and drug paraphernalia." Then the shop down the street says, "I'm just sticking with my strengths - I'll sell nothing but toothbrushes."

The first shop I went into, in Schipol airport, was a department store. (I pronounce that 'ski pole'.....not sure my Dutch is 100% accurate.). It sold, among other things, funky stationery, mens and womens underwear, cooking utensils, tools, clothes. I guess what wouldn't you want to buy, in an airport? Perhaps you had your fave screwdriver taken away when you tried to take it through security in Germany or Switzerland? How handy to be able to buy another as you get off the plane in Amsterdam! I did not see any travel-related stuff for sale though. No suitcases or luggage tags, or even electrical adaptors. They didn't sell ski poles or other sports goods either. They did stock fashion shoes, and cheese graters. (If I had a dollar for every time security has removed a cheese grater from my carry on...) Anyway, I bought a gorgeous bright pink patterned apron for my friend for her birthday, because I thought it was probably the strangest thing I've ever bought in an airport. It's not a souvenir apron or anything. Just pretty. Could have come from Ikea, that kind of pattern. Ikea Airport?

I read a pretty funny story in the papers the other day, about Amsterdam. The city is famous for its "coffee shops", where marijuana and hash are legal to buy and smoke. Like most places, Amsterdam just brought in no smoking regulations for tobacco. The newspaper quoted a few kids who are travelling through Europe saying, "Oh, the skunk is totally pure marijuana, and it's so harsh and made me cough. I barfed all night long." Awwww, poor little kids on their gap year, spending daddy's money. I just hope this terrible experience doesn't cause permanent harm, like make them become card carrying republicans.

a cheese shop

uncomfortable and loud shoes

comfortable and quiet shoes

Red Light District (no, I did NOT check out the demonstration video!)

The Real Amsterdam, and replicas for sale

Waiting for God *

Well, things have totally gone to shit here. My aunt is on the decline, quickly; she's uncomfortable and unable to sit still. Mom is here, retired GP, so she's in charge of drugs and medicine. I'm ok, as I've gone from Team Manager to Bat Boy (Bat Girl? nana nana nana nana Bat Girl!!) I fetch tea, do laundry, help with clothing selection, and was nearly drafted for silver polishing, although managed to get out of that.
My aunt is still giving us a few laughs, sometimes. (When she's not scaring the crap out of us because she decided to look out the window at 2 AM, fell, and couldn't get up. Mom came and woke me so I could lift her up and back into bed. We think she was wondering if it was a blue sky day?)
My aunt really rallies when she thinks she could be helpful. Whenever a doctor or nurse comes to visit, she's still telling them there's nothing wrong, and that she doesn't need us to stay and look after her. "I'm fine, nothing wrong with me" and then she's in pain, won't eat or drink, can't sit still or lie down for any amount of time. She has decided she needs to get more exercise too, and wants to walk up and down the halls in the apartment building. So I compromise with her, and start with walking to the living room from the bedroom. That's a pretty good workout for her. Sometimes she needs a rest part way.
But anyway....the nurse was here the other day, and as usual this powered my aunt to sit up and be as strong as possible. She was giving useful tips to the nurse such as, "If you have someone who doesn't want to eat, just try putting, what do you call it?, salt and pepper on it. I've been really enjoying that." She heard the ballet that was being performed locally was good, so my aunt suddenly summoned enough strength to ring up one of her other friends and tell her she really must go to the ballet. Today, she first asked me what day it was, then asked if I'd had lunch, then told me I must go to watch the horses in the gymkana.
In my experience, morphine gives you pretty wild dreams. Myself, I had Summer Block Buster dreams - one night I survived a massive storm on a lake, by somehow keeping a barge afloat. Another night, I kicked ass in a prison riot. My aunt's dreams are more to her tastes - she dreams of shopping. She has been to some good pharmacies and food halls the last couple nights, but her faves are finding sales in women's clothing stores.
We caved and took her to the hospital today, as Mom hasn't had any sleep in 3 nights. I think maybe my aunt was relieved to go where they had oxygen and better medicine, so she was in fine form as we left. She was waving like the Queen to anyone who was watching as we drove away. Then, as the doctor was taking her history, he asked about swollen ankles. Hers are currently quite swollen, so she showed him but said, " Well, I've always been known for my slim ankles. You would never have seen such slim ankles."
This might all seem macabre, and perhaps not nice that I'm making jokes, but at this point, we know she doesn't have very long left. We're just hoping it's quick and painless.
* a week ago, my aunt started talking about a play set in a Nursing Home, called Waiting for God. "Well, that's what they'd be doing, wouldn't it? haha" I knew she was feeling good if she was using black humour.

Approaching the Far Edge of Life

Sorry I haven't been posting. I'm staying with my 85 year old auntie again. She went into hospital last Friday for a procedure, with an overnight stay planned. She was far weaker than they thought, so kept her an extra day. They were insisting on kicking her out Sunday, even though she couldn't keep any food down at all. She finally came home Wed. I was on the phone to her friends and my mom for about 3 hours nightly, plus was stressed off my face, so had no energy for further chats or emails or anything. On Sunday, I was so worried that they were going to send her home, and I'd be 100% responsible for her care. I considered not going to collect her, and then they would be forced to keep her!

It was a long w/e here last week, so I couldn't organise any nursing care for her for a couple days, and I was flat out worried that she would die due to something I screwed up. She was so weak, hadn't really eaten in a month, and had already scared me a week earlier as I wasn't sure if she should be taken to the hospital then. I just don't feel qualified to decide on my own, about whether she is sick but could stay home, or sick and needs to go to hospital. How wobbly and weak is acceptable for home stay? And she keeps saying, "Oh, I'm fine. Nothing wrong with me." Except hummingbirds eat more than her.

Anyway, Tuesday was a regular work day, so her entire medical team finally saw her and assessed her, and kept her yet another night. The doctor made her sit up, and made her drink some juice while he was watching, so now I know she can drink and eat semi-solid food. The problem is that her cancer of the esophagus has returned, and the lump is like a speed bump as she swallows. Food would get hung up, and give her hiccups. Or worse, she'd regurg it back up. The edge of the speed bump has been rubbed raw, so it's painful for her to swallow. So she stopped eating a while ago. And then lost her appetite. And lost 20 pounds or more. And got weak and tired. So didn't get up. And didn't feel like eating. And slept more. And then tried to eat, got hiccups, and stopped mid-meal. So went back to bed.

Anyway, the dietitician told me to aim for 1500 cals a day, so I've been counting calories for her. And my mom, a retired doctor, arrived on Thursday. So the Big Pressure is off me.

Yesterday, my aunt had managed only 350 cals by 5 PM, and had slept nearly all day. She said to my mom, "I don't know know why you and Tara are here. I'm perfectly fine. Nothing wrong with me." Then went back to sleep.
She's so weak and confused at this point, we're not sure she knows what she's doing. We don't know if she realises she hasn't been consuming enough calories to sustain life.

So the Really Big Questions are: Do we work hard to get her to eat? Do we just encourage food, and offer food, and let her figure it out? Do we let her just fade away quickly? Or get her to regain her strength, just so she can go through the same thing in 6 months?

Where in The World is Tara?

Many have thought I should wear a GPS collar, but it's big, ugly and chafes my neck, so I've done the next best thing:

I've worked with my superstar web designer Tanya, to create a corporate website for my wee consulting firm, Taramatarra International Consulting Services. She made a page that has my location and local time on it, plus an estimate as to how long it would take me to answer an email.

http://www.taramatarra.com/contact-taramatarra.html
Please save the link, and click whenever you are wondering "Jeez, where is Tara now?"

And if you want to be extra-groovy, have a look round the site, and tell me what you think. Yes, I do know it's gorgeous (that was in the initial bid offer from Tanya), but do you have any comments about content? Do any links not work? Typos? Strange things? What does it show my business does? How could it be improved? And do reply back and tell me it's beautiful, or anything else you liked.
Just follow the link on the contact me page, or send a note to: teleduc101 at gmail dot com.

RBS London

yes, you are right. I have not posted on my blog in a couple weeks. This is because things have been AMAZING and busy for me. And I'm a bit lazy and disorganised....
After being in LA for a month (really, a whole MONTH) I am back in the UK. Been moving around a lot. I returned to the UK to attend the Responsible Business Summit in London.
http://www.ethicalcorp.com/rbs/?t=europe%202007
It was amazing! I had such a good time! The topics covered everything related to Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) - ethical sourcing for raw materials for manufacturing; partnering with NGOs; reducing your company's carbon footprint; community engagement; CSR in developing countries; ways to limit corruption; and a few case studies/reports out on successes companies have actually had with their CSR programs. Why do large corporations do green and/or ethical things? How does it affect their bottom line?
Perhaps an invigorating chat on the realities of child slavery and how children's wages may help a family to survive, had with the head of UNICEF Europe, is not everyone's cup of (ethically sourced, fair trade) tea? But I was thoroughly engaged, thrilled, excited, pumped...... WOW.
In addition to the man from UNICEF, I met lots of other incredible contacts. Some were people at a lower level, some were consultants like me. But others were "CSR Royalty": CEOs, ground breakers, people who regularly meet with Bill & Melinda, the White House, the UN, sit on councils that discuss international trade in Africa, etc. etc.

So I think it's clear how fits into my Big Picture of What I Want To Do (= ethical and profitable work in Africa). But how does it tie to the small picture? How will I actually pay my bills? I did get head hunted by an executive search firm..... Probably the job is not quite what I want at this point, but it does seem that something will shake loose. I met people with Big Influence, and Big Budgets, who don't need to be sold on the wisdom (and positive effect on the bottom line) of working with communities.

"I can feel it coming on the air tonight." --Phil Collins

Bowled Over by the Coolness

Last night I went to the local comedy club. Jay Leno was headlining. Totally funny.
Strangely, the absolute highlight for me though was.....Jerry Seinfeld's Puffy Shirt was in a framed box on the wall.
How cool is that?

Not Politically Correct

I was biking on the beach path on Saturday, when I spotted a midget with no shirt, riding a skateboard. I thought, "Holy crap! That is a midget on a skateboard. That is a really funny sight. California is hilarious!"
I guess because I was totally staring at him, with a nice smile on my face (he likely didn't realise it was a smile at the Comedy I Find in Southern California Beach Goers), he smiled back. A really, really cheezy smile.

Shirtless, tanned, cheezy, skateboarding midget.

Little Person. Whatever.

Trouble in Paradise

view south to Redondo Beach

Since I've been in LA for the last couple weeks, I've settled into a bit of a routine. I have an unlimited pass for yoga at a studio down the road. I have taken over Lianda's beach cruiser bike, so I have wheels, and use this to go everywhere - the movies, the grocery store, Target, exploring, biking along the beach. Every day, I go walking or biking or yoga, or a combo of all those. L noticed I'm getting a tan.



But it's not all margaritas and Happy Hour sushi and sunshine. This morning I had an accident! I was rushing out to yoga, when the mat fell out of the basket, I braked too hard, caught a flip flop, and crashed on the pavement. At first, I looked like I'd been in a gang war or something, as every body part that hit the pavement had ugly deep purple blood blisters. But after an hour, I just have a big weepy raspberry on my knee and a stiff neck. My manicure and pedicure both got destroyed. (OMG!) I didn't put a hole in my yoga pants, so there's no permanent damage.



So this afternoon, I guess I'll recover with a trashy novel, by the pool. I guess I've just been doing too much, and I need to take it easy.
this is not the bike I fell off, nor are those the flip flops that flipped me...but that is the beach path!

Hermosa Beach Pier