4 Parks

I visited 4 National Parks while on my trip through the Western USA. Here's my review:

1. Yosemite National Park, California

Half Dome at Dusk

I think we've all seen pics of the main Yosemite Valley, including Half Dome, el capitan, the Sentinels, Glacier Point, etc. etc. But I'm gonna have to say that this was the highlight of the park for me. And it was awesome, especially if you are into granite walls. I had a terrific swim in the Merced River, under the Half Dome. I was very, very small on that landscape.

watch the road!! that's a couple thousand foot drop!

historically crazy ladies

But if you like anything else about the landscape, other than granite, this is not the place for you. There is not much forest here. Why? Because there's no soil. Because it's all granite. In the Yosemite Valley, it's vertical, but elsewhere, it's sorta rolling. Granite. Grey granite. A bit like a skateboard park. But granite, not concrete. Weird. Not sure really why this needed setting aside as a park, as you could make enough granite coutertops for the entire world, and Yosemite would be kinda the same. Huh.

Did I mention it's all the same colour? I drove across the park, and got excited that the colour was finally changing. WHOO-WOOO! NOT GREY! That was the park boundary. :-P

2. Craters of the Moon National Monument, Idaho (ok, technically, not a park)

bigger rocks and lichen on a field of pumice

This is sort of off the beaten track in Idaho, but hey, it sounded cool so I checked it out. And I really liked it! It is an area that a geologist in the 1920s or 30s said, "If you went to the surface of the moon, it would look like this." Hmmmm, maybe.

imagine that the lava was soft enough to be gently pushed into waves

It is a little outcrop of the Yellowstone formation, and there are lots of mini-volcanoes, calderas, cinder cones and lava formations. It is barren. But I happen to really, really dig lava. It blows my mind that liquid rock was ejected out of the earth, started to harden as it flew through the air, so landed in a semi-soft blob. And in other places, it slowed and hardened from the outisde, leaving hollow tubes of rock. And that sometimes the rock looks like bread dough or rope. And other times the cooled rock floated on top of liquid rock, and occasionally even really big pieces of rock floated on liquid rock. Seriously, liquid rock!!! That's so groovy.

a blob of rock that cooled as it flew through the air!

a-aa or pohoihoi? I can never remember. Rock that looks like bread dough.
a tube that formed when the outer lava cooled but the inner lava was still flowing

3. Grand Tetons National Park, Wyoming


This park is heaven on earth. My mountain friends, RUN, don't walk, to this place immediately! Well, I guess you could fly or drive, actually, but do it fast.

There is a flat, open, grassy plain with buffalo and elk, some sparkling lakes, and then there are giant, jagged mountains that verily shriek,

"ACK! LOOK AT US!!! WE
ARE SO BEEEYOOOTEEEFULLLL WE
WILL POKE YOUR EYE OUT WITH
OUR LOVELINESS
AND SHARP
ROCKINESSSSS!!!!"

And of course there is Jackson Hole just outside the boundary. Hello, Powder Hounds, we're talking serious dumps here!! I would have thought it might be all snooty like Whistler, but hell no, Jackson Hole was fabulous! Every single person I met in Wyoming (who were mainly in Jackson) was absolutely friendly and hysterically funny. And the Snake River brewpub has delicious brews, fyi.

The park has 250 miles of day-hiking trails. I went into the Ranger Centre (ooops, it's America, I mean Ranger Center) and asked about a trail of, say, 10 to 13 miles. So she recommended a loop at 19 miles, with elev change of 4500 feet, with top elevation of over 10 000. YIKES! I wound up going in and back out, for a total of 15 miles and elev change of 2500 ft. But this hike was AMAZING!! Jagged rocks, narrow valley, raging streams and more species of woldflowers than I've ever seen on a single hike. I'd estimate probably 30 species, and what was particularly cool was they were flowers I've seen many times, but slightly different. eg. white columbines; teeny lupines; different saxifrages. This was a fantastic hike (although I will admit that Blue Lakes between Smithers and Hazelton was both more gorgeous and more easy....but I quibble on this)

I didn't have time for a river float, and you could do that for whitewater or for for scenery.


I will absolutely come back to this part of the world, both for summer hiking and winter skiing. Absolutely. Gar-on-teed.

marmot saying, "Y'all come back to Wyoming soon, ya hear?!"

another smiling face in Wyoming

4. Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming and Montana and Idaho

Right on time - Old Faithful only made me wait 3 minutes!

This park is all about geysers. Did you know that over half the world's geysers are in Yellowstone? (most of the rest are in Iceland.) The geysers are kind of cool, in and of themselves, the colours of the tufa are awesome, and it's amazing that Old faithful can be accurately predicted to erupt/explode/shoot off. colours of chromatic pools: blue hot to red cool


I only drove through part of the park, and I will say it was not that beautiful, although of course I prefer to be poked in the eye by mountains. But I read an article in National Geographic, which explained that Yellowstone is on a big hot blob of magma which is welling and swelling and squishing and squashing. (please excuse the high tech lingo!) In fact, parts of Yellowstone have increased in elevation by several inches a year. It's as if a balloon is being squeezed at one end, so deforming at the other. But we're talking about molten rock here, pushing up the surface of the earth. OK, that is really, really cool. And this squishing hot liquid rock is heating water that has trickled down from the surface. The water is heating to super-steaming, the steam is stuck under the cooler water above and in cracks, so finally shoots out as a geyser of hot water. Seriously, that is really cool. Earth science - you gotta dig it. ;)

Wardrobe Error

Travelling in a van without a full length mirror, I think it's understandable that I might get a bit casj with my wardrobe. It was pretty warm for a few days, so when I pulled into Idaho Falls, ID I was wearing a tank top (with bra - hello!), flips and very short surfer-girl shorts. Perhaps a bit too short, but hey, did I mention I ran a marathon????? I get to show these dang legs OFF!

Anyway, I headed into Wendy's to get a coffee and lunch and you should have seen the looks I got. The place was full of women, possibly the chubbiest and frumpiest on the planet, and they looked at me like, "JEZEBEL!! HARLOT!!" I really thought they might pelt me with French Fries, oh I mean Freedom Fries.

I ordered a coffee, but the guy said they didn't usually make it at that time of day. (noon? Seriously?)

It took till halfway through my diet coke for my light bulb to come on! omg, Mormons!!!! Seems it's ok to have thighs 4 times bigger than mine, as long as they keep them covered with a pleated potato sack.

note to self: I must have caffeine earlier in the day, so I am better prepared to deal with life's surprises

Photo Essay by beni

By the end of the backpacking trip, certain things could be clearly discerned by the state of one's pack while at rest.

Following is a photo essay/personality study by beni M.D.:

pack of Bo: working mother of 7, practising OB-GYN in Los Angeles
Note: all contents are compartmentalised, as in rooms of a house - the kitchen area with water bottle and sierra cup; the bathroom with poop shovel; the laundry room with wet things hanging up neatly

Pack of Taryn: somewhat organised, pretty good actually, for a a 17 year old aspiring solid gold dancer, future share-holder/franchise owner of In & Out Burgers

Pack of Sammy: 14 year old acrobat/gymnast/wilder-clown. Shows low level of chaos, and good organisation. Clown shoes and squirting nose out of frame.

Pack of Jill: administrator of medical residency programme. Motehr figure. Nature lover. DEMOCRAT!

Note: highly organised individual. All contents neatly stowed in their rightful place to prevent falls or accidents.

Pack of Eric/Woody: astronomy TA cum engineer cum biodiesel entrepreneur cum green house builder. Music lyric savant.

Note: high level of organisation, everything is spread out neatly for instant retrieval if necessary. Guitar present, but no amp.

Pack of beni: vegetarian; alien dancer; newbie backpacker; family physician with interest in serving the under-served, both in San Francisco and Rhode Island
Note: backpacker first aid kit handy, unfortunately still lacking x-ray machine

Pack of Tara: forester cum negotiator/facilitator cum international volunteer cum vagabond cum global citizen cum writer cum homeless van driver. Note: bonafide pack explosion indicating that all ideas are worth tossing out for examination among the duff. Compression sack at hand for compressing and combining items in random order. Dirty laundry being aired in frame (red, with frills).

Canuck Words of the Week

After a break rather longer than 1 week, I have again resumed my informational service of Canadian terms!

The following are the words I introduced while on the trails in California:

Canadian Tire Store = where you go when your shopping list includes drain cleaner, a tent, air freshener, gum and new cutlery...and brake pads
facewash = getting one's face cleaned with scratchy snow, in an involuntary way (did a demo, in fact!)
Overwaitea = a grocery store proud to give more tea than you paid for (the 'Mericans suggested it might be better marketing to call it Super-Skinny Food Store or some such thing...)
Caesar = cocktail similar to a Bloody Mary, but made with tomato-clam cocktail. (They thought it sounded really disgusting...)
loonie = one dollar coin (not to be confused with the teacher of the Canuck lingo)

And remember gentlemen, if the ladies don't find you handsome, they better find you handy!
--Tara Canucklehead

The Wilder-Blog

The Wilder-Blog
A Trip Report of Hiking in Emigrant Wilderness, California
July 12-21, 2009

written by Tara and guest-blogger/Hubba Hubba roomie, beni

Day 0: Controlled Panic
Meet at The Wood House B&B of Mill Valley (aka, Jill and Eric’s place). Organize piles of food, clothing, shelter. Pack. Sleep, or try.

Day 1: Mind Over Muscle
Wake up ridinculously early. Drive approximately as many hours as you slept. Arrive at Oakdale. Meet the Thordersons: Bo, Taryn, Sammy! Last meal at Oakdale Cafe. Final supply stop at Raley’s. (Mmmm... instant non-fat powdered milk.) Onward to trailhead: Last flush toilets.

A Stalwart Group (L to R: Bo, Sammy, Taryn, Woody, beni, Jill, me)

Pack weigh-in:

Eric (aka Woody) = 800 kilos, including a guitar but no amp,

Bo = 600 kilos of common sense and authority,

Tara= 53 lbs of Astro-Glide,

beni = 45 lbs of What the heck am I doing?,

Jill = The Weight of the World (packaged neatly in Ziploc bags and stuff sacks),

Sammy = 40 lbs of Gorp that she didn’t eat anyway,

My BFWC
Taryn = Pop Tarts and Body Fat (a lot of it).

Taryn, Wilder-Solid Gold Dancer

Hike: Crabtree trailhead to campsite on Cherry Creek, 7.5 miles, all on trail. Starting at 7,150 ft., climb gently to about 7,800 ft. before descending to our campsite at 7,450 ft. Approx 9 hours.
Meet more Thordersons: Hans, Chris, Tait, Thor, Dean. Eric’s debut campfire stylings.

the Littlest Hoboes

Woody Wilder-dictionary entries of the day:

Gentle = Punishing
Astro-Glide = Blister prevention magic from Canada, aka Body Glide

Me n JillyBean

Tara adventures of the day: Breakfast discussion of scrotal chafing, resulting in Bo nearly spitting out her huevos. Clambering the granite version of the Great Wall of China. Near-death experience when Eric learned I used biodegradable soap in his creek.
What beni learned: I hate mosquitoes as much as I love DEET. I hate feeling lost as much as I hate mosquitoes.

Day 2: Rock Stars
Cherry Creek to Hyatt Lake, 2.8 miles, all cross-country. Starting at 7,450 ft., we climb over a 7,800 ft. ridge, then descend to the lake at 7,400 ft. Approx 4.5 hours.

Woody Wilder-dictionary entry of the day:

Boulder-hopping = Marine Corps obstacle course.

Tara adventures of the day: Having a 7-year old boy clamouring “Take it off! Take it off!” in his 7-year old boy voice. (He wanted to see my sunburn, I swear, that's all!) Learning that my water bottle is actually a green fish but luckily Hans is actually a deep-sea diver.
What beni learned: It is much easier to kick your backpack through the rocks than to carry it over the rocks. Sammy and Taryn make posing on top of a boulder with your pack on look easy. Freshly-melted snow is cold. While Hans may actually be a deep-sea diver, it is quite possible that Bo is a mermaid.

Day 3: Hell Day
Hyatt Lake to Red Can Lake, 5.1 miles, all cross-country. Starting at 7,400 ft., we climb over open granite slopes to about 8,400 ft. before descending slightly to our destination at 8,300 ft. Approx 9 hours.

ants trekking across the moonscape
Woody Wilder-dictionary entries of the day:

As the crow flies = LOOK OUT! A short trip up a cliff, around a knob, across a river, backtrack for a while, then when all hope appears lost, TAH DAH: Red Can Lake.
G.P.S. = 20° to the right of reality
Skirting = This is gonna be far.
Knob = Cliff
Saddle = Mountain
Asser = So much worse than a bummer. Example, Falling on your soda treasure and cracking it wide open in the last few minutes of Hell Day and sleeping in a wet, sticky sleeping bag because of it. On the 9th day of a 12 day backpacking trip, putting your treat apple in your stinky scok to protect it from bear scoffing, having a bear turn it into applesauce anyway.
Tara adventures of the day: Near-death experience when Bo saw me showing Sammy and Taryn an “acceptable” route down a rock ramp. Appeased the Wrath of the Mother Bear with a cocktail.
What beni learned: A little koala goes a long way. Being swarmed by mosquitoes makes you not care that you don’t have enough water in your bottle. I hate crows as much as I hate mosquitoes. Eric is 10,000 times the man I am.
Jill & beni happy to be off the trail
Day 4: The Heat is On
Red Can Lake to Lertora Lake, 2.1 miles, cross-country followed by trail. Starting at 8,300 ft., we descend to cross the outlet of Cow Meadow Lake at 7,800 ft., then pick up a trail which climbs to our destination at 8,400 ft. Approx 3 hours.

Woody Wilder-dictionary entry of the day:

Hubba Hubba = a small, sexy home away from home

Snugga-Hubba = When a small, sexy tent gets put in an even smaller space

Tara adventure of the day: Photo shoot at the Blue Dragonfly No-tell Motel.

Near-death experience when Bo overheard me sharing cautionary tales of my, ahem, light-hearted youthful escapades.
What beni learned: A little meltdown goes a long way. Jill is 10,000 times the sweetie that I am – and looks good in a floatie to boot! Veggie Italian sausage tastes like love at 8,400 ft. Cold water therapy is the next best thing to veggie Italian sausage at 8,400 ft. Solar showers are better than cold water therapy.

Day 5: Oh say, can Yosemite?
Lertora Lake to Lower Twin Lake, 4 miles, trail followed by cross-country. Starting at 8,400 ft., we descend on a trail to Hukleberry Lake at 7,850 ft., then climb steeply (but briefly) to 8,700 ft., where we cross into Yosemite National Park just before arriving at our destination at 8,650 ft. Approx 3 hours.

Love in the Backwoods

The Group starts to show "Trail Rage"

Woody Wilder-dictionary entry of the Day:
Mountain Margaritas = Yummy deliciousness. Recipe of the Day: Mountain Margaritas = Freshly-harvested snow + Crystal Light Lemon + whatever tequila the underage girls haven’t drunk yet

Tara adventure of the day: The Happiest Hour. 7 way CHEERS! Part I

. Day 5 means time for some Wilder-Grooming. (yes, they really are shaving their pits!)
What beni learned: Sammy and Taryn make floating to an island on a pancake look easy. It takes a village to cook a rehydrated gourmet meal. Mosquitoes swarming your tent obscure your lovely view of purple shooting stars in the meadow. Duct tape is good for mending. You can shame a lazy ankle into healing itself.

Day 6: Happy Birthday, Dani!
Lower Twin Lake to Black Bear Lake, 3.2 miles, mixed cross-country and trail. Starting at 8,650 ft., we follow the north edge of Lower Twin Lake before climbing to pass Upper Twin Lake before reaching our destination at 9,300 ft. Approx 3 hours.

Woody’s Wilder-quote of the Day: “If a man says something in the forest and there are no women around to hear, is he still wrong?” (Answer: Duh. He was hiking alone with 6 women)

Tara adventure of the day: Earning one more stripe as an unofficial gear tester by breaking the Wilderness Wanderer man-only backpack. Making a daypack out of a plastic shopping bag filled with warm salami, sweaty cheese and a novel. Climbing up the ridge for a better view.

What beni learned: Doing nothing at 9,300 ft is even better than veggie Italian sausage at 8,400 ft. I can lift my Hubba.

"I have a friend who tried out a backpacking recipe for Pad Thai at home and it was so delicious that she ate it again the next day for lunch."

I make a lovely dancing alien. The Milky Way looks like clouds when you’re not wearing your contacts. The Backpacker First Aid kit does not include an x-ray machine.

Day 7: Night of the Revenge of the Mozzies
Black Bear Lake to campsite on Cherry Creek, 4 miles, cross-country followed by trail. Starting at 9,300 ft., we climb to pass Bigelow Lake at 9,600 ft., then cross a pass at 9,800 ft. before descending to Snow Lake at 9,350 ft. There, we pick up a trail and climb to our campsite at 9,550 ft. Just kidding: Push on to Grizzly Meadow. Approx 4 hours.

the swarm outside the tent in the AM

Sammy - Zapatista warrior princess or bug-bitten refugee?

Tara adventure of the day: Breaktime summit to 9,900 ft. Avoiding near-death experience by deciding not to go to 10,000 ft only to fall precipitously and have Bo heal me only to teach me what pain really feels like. Getting annihilated at hearts. (Honestly, who loses a trick when they lead a 3?!)

Boot skiing in July.
What beni learned: Sliding on snow is easier than walking on snow. Duct tape is good for mending, but Bo has a better method.

Day 8: Through the Forest, Under the Stars
Cherry Creek to Sheep Camp, 6.1 miles, all on trail. Starting at 9,550 ft., we climb slightly to Grizzly Meadow, then descend to 9,400 ft. to pass Emigrant Meadow Lake. We then climb to 9,750 ft. to cross Brown Bear Pass, after which we descend to our destination at 8,800 ft. Approx 6 hours.


Wilder-babes

Woody Wilder-dictionary entry of the day:
Woody’s nuts = Spicy nuts from Trader Joe’s that Bo tells Sammy and Taryn to grab for her. As in, “Girls, go grab Woody’s nuts for me.”
Recipe of the Day:

Jill’s Curried Lentils with Rice = Rice + Lentils + Curry. Taste. Send beni to poach Woody's candied ginger. Add all of it. Taste. Send beni to find chocolate. Add all of Tara’s remaining chocolate stash. Taste. Top with Woody’s nuts. Yummy!

Tara adventure of the day: Quashing Woody’s Hail Mary attempt to win Ugliest Body Part Competition with an infected blister. (“Poor self-care will not be rewarded.”) While out for a Wilder-poop, Tara finds and extinguishes a forest fire. (“Just digging for the edges. There’s nothing scientific about this.”)
What beni learned: I make a lovely water nymph. No one wants me on their team for Charades. If she’s already asleep, Tara won’t tell me what to do if I wake up to a bear licking my head.

Day 9: Escape from Emigrant Wilderness, aka Woody’s Paradise
Sheep Camp to Kennedy Meadow, 8.5 miles, all on trail. Starting at 8,800 ft., we descend to Relief Reservoir at about 7,300 ft., where we climb slightly to skirt the reservoir before continuing our descent to our destination (and showers, cheeseburgers, and frosty beverages) at 6,300 ft. Approx 2 hours (Bo, Sammy, Taryn) – 4.5 hours (Tara, beni)

Woody Wilder-dictionary entry of the day:

Wilder... = The 9-day Backpacking version of anything

Tara adventure of the day: Following that dang flying crow, including the tiniest sign that said, "Main Trail", only to be saved by a cowboy. Witnessed the graduation of beni from Marine Corps boot camp, as she happily pranced across a raging river on a log. (SO proud!) The best cheeseburger of my life, at the end of the dusty trail.
What beni learned: Crossing over a raging torrent on a fallen log gives you Wilder-balls. When a cowboy asks you if you’re lost, you are.

7 way cheers, Part II

Tara's Life Is Good!

do we clean up nicely, or what?