Woman Against Nature!

(warning: to those who cannot cope with 8 legged creatures, avert your eyes. It gets graphic.)

I live with my (bachelor) cousin and his (bachelor) roomie. So I rule the roost! HA! I have banned their use of the bathroom in the basement, so that I can keep it clean, with NO urine on the floor. Or walls. Or anywhere else inappropriate. There is not a woman on the planet who would think this is unreasonable, even though the bathroom is right beside Roomie Kurt's bedroom. But the downside is that I was gone for so long, and no one was around to scare the spiders into submission.
The other day, I was happily doing laundry, and grabbed the bathmat off the floor and a Big F'ing Spider (BFS*) scuttled away. I shrieked (obviously - what did you think I'm made of?? Titanium???). I grabbed the garbage bin off the floor to use for a BFS Crusher, and another BFS sped across the floor! I started swearing FOR REAL at that point. I knocked over my bin, and from somewhere another BFS appeared. AAAARRRGGHHHHHH, STUPID SPIDERS EVERYWHERE!!!! I left the bathroom, but the shouting did succeed in getting Kurt downstairs. "KURT, go in there and kill the spiders!!! AAAAAUUUURRRGGGHHHHHHHH!"
By end of battle, there were FIVE (5) BFS carcasses in one tiny bathroom. Probably should have called the Arachno-Coroner.
Kurt's very useful comment: "Hey, you notice that none of them was poisonous???"
No, Kurt, I hadn't. That's because in my reality, there are NO black widow spiders in this house. They are all outside, farfarfar away from me.
But that was not the end. I was cleaning my room later, and found a SFS. But I was a hero, and slammed that one myself with a shoe. Mass murder. Not zen at all.

* Big F'ing Spider. Sorry, but when a sucker is an inch across or more, counting leg span, it qualifies for BFS nomenclature.

Nose Stories

I'm not doing tht much actual stuff these days, so thought I'd just tell random stories....

Last year I was running the cross-country ski trails in Fort St john, when I tripped, a blade of grass poked up my nose, and started GUSHING blood.
funny - -it doesn't hurt to have a blade of grass (or a stick of salal - done that too) poked up your nostril into your sinus.... It's just a weird feeling. And LOTS of blood. Damn my big nose holes!!!!



This reminds me of another nose story...... years ago, I was on a mapping break in the bush with my partner, and a no-see-um flew up my nose. I was like, "Oh my god. Oh my god. A bug flew up my nose! I can feel it flying around inside!! Aaaaarrrhhhhh! He's banging against the sides!" I was making those weird faces - you know how it is when your nose is irritated... felt like both eyes migrated to one side of my face like a deep sea fish. Then I sneezed, and ABSOLUTE REFLEX, we both looked at the kleenex, and said, "There he is."
(Poor fella. High speed impact. Instant death.)


My partner looked closely at me and said, "Funny, you don't have a big nose. But you sure have big nose holes."
see? not too big a nose, but large holes.

Back on Home Soil, Sigh

One week ago, my plane landed in Kamloops, BC.
Yes, in fact, it is weird to be back.
Very weird to hear Canadian accents. On the plane, I kept pricking up my ears, thinking, "Hey, that person must be Canadian." Air Canada flight to Calgary - go figure.
Strange to be back among my stuff, although it's mostly in boxes and needs unpacking (Cousin Kenny wanted his spare room to be available, so I had to box things).
Great to get phone calls, texts and emails from friends welcoming me back.
GREAT to eat Fresh is Best salsa and guacamole, made right here in Kamloops. They can't even match the stuff in California. It's that yummy.
Fabulous to eat fresh peaches, right off Kenny's tree. This is possibly one of my fave experiences in the whole world.
Terrific to visit Julie and Ted in Penticton this week. It's the Iron Man there this weekend, so lots of excitement and athletes running, biking and swimming all over the place.
Tomorrow AM will be my first long run with Susan and Carol. It will be awesome to run with company!!!

Things have changed. There's a new tax on fuel, so gas costs $1.34 a litre. A big jug of milk costs $5.49. (OMG!! I'm sure it was $4 just a while ago.) I can receive calls on my cell at no extra charge, just like everywhere else in the world. I ran into Sasha, an old work colleague, today, and got the update on the office. Same old, same old. It was great to see her, anyway.

I've got loose ends to tie up: finish the sale of the house in Fort St John; go through 6 months of mail; get memory for my computer; train for a half marathon in Banff in 6 weeks. I'm taking a break from alcohol until after the race. Time to recover from The Good Life in Europe!

If all this sounds anti-climactic, well yah, it is. So glad I've got the Olympics to give me some excitement. Siigghhh. Really thinking about how soon I can get back to Europe....might be early October...

Chateau Cote du Rhone

* this is a catch up post, so don`t be confused by the fact that it`s out of order. Didn`t want to miss out these pics and telling about the experience, that`s all.......

My great running partner, Susie Sunshine, came up with the term `Running Shoe Sight Seeing`. One of the incredible bonuses of running while travelling is that by getting out and getting moving, you get a really different view of a place.

While I was at Millefeuille (that`s French week 2 in Provence, in case you`re having trouble keeping up..), I looked out the front door of the school, and noticed that each hilltop had a chateau or little castle or something on it. So I took off for the next village, through the vineyards. At the village, I ran up a steep hill, past a lovely chateau, and found myself on the brow of a hill where I looked down on the Rhone River, and across the entire valley. I told the other students about this, even the other runners, but sadly no one else had gone exploring on this route.
All this in only 60 minutes. Bliss. PLUS, I was wearing my .mp3 player and listening to French phrases. Super-scenic multi-tasking!


did I mention the school was in a Chateau that sold wine.... how great is that....






abandoned house in a vineyard

the chateau



the River Rhone

What the Heck is Tara Up To, Anyway? No.2

I figure it's time to inform people of what I'm doing, in a more clear way.
So, first of all, I am doing a third week of intensive French training, this time at the following school. http://www.buildingyourself.com/dialogue/business.htm (I have the full intention of posting a summary comparison of the 3 schools I attended, as each had its own pluses and minuses.)
Secondly, I will return to Kamloops on Aug 15.
Third, I am in the process of selling my house in Fort St John. It's been a pain trying to rent the entire place from far, far away, so it's time to cut my losses.... Actually, it's time to secure my profits, as I've happily done quite well on that. Am thinking of buying a "flatlet" in Central London, the equivalent of a permanent hotel room. Wish me luck finding something suitable that costs less than a gazillion dollars...

And to clarify, Africa job hasn't FOR SURE fallen through. Don't think they were aware that they've had me waiting for 6 months. The other day, Sam, my primary contact said, "Oh yah, wow, William has to come back from the Congo, as his ticket was only for 6 months. Can you believe that?" I said I could, as I left for Europe just a couple days after him, and I have to come home too. My medical insurance only allows me to stay out of Canada for 6 months at a time.... He tried to tell me to just wait a little longer, things are so close, but I explained that it would be ridiculously risky to go to Africa without insurance. He said the guys would be very disappointed about my going home, and I replied, "Not as disappointed as I am."
I think he was humiliated to realise that they've made me wait so long. As usual, he hasn't called since, as he absolutely avoids that sort of interaction.
Anyway, have to finish the sale of my house in FSJ (conditions due to be removed end of this week), and plan to run a half marathon in Banff at end of Sept. So they've got 6 more weeks where I'm "otherwise occupied".

La Belle Epoque, Parte Deux

I'm back in Provence for a second week of intensive French training. I take 6 hours a day of classes, 1 hour of that is one-on-one with a teacher. and they give us homework AND an mp3 player with oral/aural exercises on it, in case we're bored, or not exhausted, or somehow feel we aren't getting our money's worth.


Generally loving my french training though...... seriously, loving it. although my brain is awfully tired.... Stupid irregular verbs, they'll be the death of me...or at least the cause of the holes in my liver. it is because of them that I drink so much DELICIOUS wine FROM THE GRAPES GROWN IN THE VINEYARD OUTSIDE MY WINDOW, AND MADE IN THE CHATEAU WHERE I SLEEP. (no, not actually in my bedroom, although the entire place does smell a little of wine yeast)





Oddly enough, I am not yet fluent in French. Guess I need more wine.





Strangely, I have not seen any movie stars, although perhaps it's because I have not stepped outside the school.





Here are photos:
the main chateau
the main chat (oooohhhhhh baby)




And here is the link, in case you are curious about the joint:


http://www.millefeuille-provence.com/





Yes, this is what I'm doing while I wait for that dang job to start in Africa. We will work in French, so I really, really need to get better at French. I talk about the job all the time, as if it really will one day come to fruition. (Doing overtime with all those techniques from The Secret.) But seriously, my main contact in Cali has quit his day job, so he obviously thinks this is going to fly high and far very soon. One of the Congolese guys from Cali has been sent over to check out what is going on over there, and what is taking so long???? His initial reports are that all is ok, and he'll get things rolling. Obviously, I do not hold my breath, as I would have expired months ago, but....... I'm keeping the faith.


Incidentally, that guy had not been home to Congo in 7 years. Point of fact, it was 7 years to the EXACT day. Can you imagine not seeing your spouse or kids for 7 years? Yikes, wonder if there are more kids there than when he left.....these things happen... je suis mechante <-- that means naughty, FYI

Reflections

My auntie finally passed away last week, the day after I left for France. I'm really glad I had so much time with her. Actually I've had an incredible education staying here with the Seniors. When auntie was hospitalised the first time, and she was really sick, I was freaking out. But staying among people who have lost friends and spouses and, frankly, know that they don't have another 50, or even 15, years left, is very interesting. They get that life comes to a close. They are accepting of that. It is what it is, right?One of my auntie's good friends is also very ill, and has been given just a bit more time to live. She is really ok with that, been labelling things in her apartment to give to others, and all that. Her daughter was really upset about her mom's imminent death, so I told her to come and stay here for a couple weeks. It is amazing how you learn to accept that death will come when you are around people who feel that way. It's not morbid or anything, rather just a graceful acceptance.For the last few weeks I've just felt that as long as she was comfortable, I didn't mind if she stayed on, or just fell asleep and didn't wake up. I absolutely could not tolerate her struggling for breath or anything horrible like that (which she didn't do very much, thank God), but just hanging out in hospital was fine by me. She was 85, she was happy with the life she lived, her body was tired, she's been lonely since her husband died. There was nothing else she wanted to do. I'm really ok with this because she was really ok with this. Still, the funeral and stuff will be an ordeal though.

A Week in Provence

Just spent a week en Provence, relearning French. Heaven! Oh, except for when I had a tantrum because too many tenses were swirling around in my head and I couldn't remember which verb form I should use...a total perfectionist moment. Luckily, we had planned a field trip to Arles, which was absolutely FANTASTIC. Oh, and when I wanted to sit down late in the day and have a glass of wine, who should sit truly RIGHT BESIDE me, but Keanu Reeves!!!! It was so weird, I caught a glance and thought, "Man, he looks just like Keanu Reeves, he must hear that all the time." And then folks started asking him for photos. So weird, he has the exact same mannerisms and voice as in all his movies - apparently he just plays Keanu on a fast bus, and Keanu in a weird future scene, and Keanu in some ridiculous love story. He's quite skinny now, ate ice cream, and has a hideous beard. (Ever heard of a stylist, Keanu??) The highlight was that he brushed against me on his way to the bathroom. Yup, that's right, first he sat beside me, then he touched me. I would imagine he was disappointed that he didn't get a chance to propose a torrid affair with me in Southern France, but I am too dedicated a student of the language, so didn't have time for all that swanning about with movie stars.

Next update: tomorrow is my aunt's funeral. Then much family shite for the rest of the week.

Then I'm not sure what I'm doing, but will probably go back to France for more French training, and maybe more movie stars?? Not totally sure. Apparently George Clooney is buying a house/villa/chateau in the village where I stayed, so might enjoy a brioche with Georges?? And Angelina/Brad have a villa not too far away. Guess I better bring gifts for their new twins....would hate to be caught out. Totally embarrassing. :)

Flirting

I was walking down the street the other day when a cute young guy in a car totally checked me out* . I went by, then he drove up to me and said, "Wow, you've got a cracking figure!"
[ don't know if I've ever been described as 'cracking', so that's cool.]
He gave me his card, so I'd text him to have a drink.


ME: "Hiya. i'm madly making plans to go to france. b back in a week. rain cheque on that drink?"
HIM: "Hi tara ..u seem like a cool kind of lady ..so ur off to france !..nice!! Thanks for ur number ..! Ur very attractive and ye i luv busty babes !!"

His card said he does joinery, which I think is carpentry of some sort. But I think he probably moonlights writing copy for those ads at the back of magazines or very late night infomercials.

* actually, he checked me out the same way the skateboarding midget did. Now I wish I'd gotten the Little Person's card. Wonder what he does for a living?

Shopping in Amsterdam

Real, Wooden and Future Flowers at the Bloemmarket

Last week, I went to Amsterdam for a conference on partnerships in Ethical Business. This could include things such as a coffee producer teaming up with a Fair Trade certification NGO, and the result is a fair trade coffee in the shops. I really dig this stuff, and am optimistic that doing business "the right way" continues to catch on. It's quite a big market share here in Europe, so maybe????

I LOVED Amsterdam. What a fantastic city - beautiful, safe, everyone rides bikes or walks, canals, flowers, etc. etc. I would happily live there. It's that great! And the shopping - I have no idea how the Dutch (or maybe I mean Amsterdammers) create a business plan. "Hmmmm, think I'll sell Christmas ornaments year round, ummmm, and patterned tissue products. Oh, and drug paraphernalia." Then the shop down the street says, "I'm just sticking with my strengths - I'll sell nothing but toothbrushes."

The first shop I went into, in Schipol airport, was a department store. (I pronounce that 'ski pole'.....not sure my Dutch is 100% accurate.). It sold, among other things, funky stationery, mens and womens underwear, cooking utensils, tools, clothes. I guess what wouldn't you want to buy, in an airport? Perhaps you had your fave screwdriver taken away when you tried to take it through security in Germany or Switzerland? How handy to be able to buy another as you get off the plane in Amsterdam! I did not see any travel-related stuff for sale though. No suitcases or luggage tags, or even electrical adaptors. They didn't sell ski poles or other sports goods either. They did stock fashion shoes, and cheese graters. (If I had a dollar for every time security has removed a cheese grater from my carry on...) Anyway, I bought a gorgeous bright pink patterned apron for my friend for her birthday, because I thought it was probably the strangest thing I've ever bought in an airport. It's not a souvenir apron or anything. Just pretty. Could have come from Ikea, that kind of pattern. Ikea Airport?

I read a pretty funny story in the papers the other day, about Amsterdam. The city is famous for its "coffee shops", where marijuana and hash are legal to buy and smoke. Like most places, Amsterdam just brought in no smoking regulations for tobacco. The newspaper quoted a few kids who are travelling through Europe saying, "Oh, the skunk is totally pure marijuana, and it's so harsh and made me cough. I barfed all night long." Awwww, poor little kids on their gap year, spending daddy's money. I just hope this terrible experience doesn't cause permanent harm, like make them become card carrying republicans.

a cheese shop

uncomfortable and loud shoes

comfortable and quiet shoes

Red Light District (no, I did NOT check out the demonstration video!)

The Real Amsterdam, and replicas for sale